Too Close for Comfort Series:
Messing with His Head (#5) Author:
Do it… you know you want to! Please? firstname.lastname@example.orgRating:
15+ for strong words.Pairing:
During Season 5 BtVS. Xander figures some things out... or does he?Disclaimer:
The chars belong to Joss though I borrowed some… am going to keep them for sometime… give them tea and crumpets… maybe make them show me their sexy dance and if I ever get bored *snort* I'll return them. Distribution:
You want? Just ask, I swear I won't say no! I just want to know where they sleep. Sequel to:
Oblivious Prey, To Be or Not to Be a Dream, Spanking Clean, G’morning.
Check MWHH Archive
for the chapters in order. Many thanks to lusciousxander and to mygothangel for amazing quick beta!
Italics & *& capitals = emphasize
~ = thoughts
The night was as silent as it could get as Spike and Xander walked the usual patrol route.
Xander couldn’t stop sneaking looks at Spike while the vampire merely smoked like all was right in the world. It wasn’t like the evil vampire cared that Xander’s mind was running a mile a minute in all eight directions, trying to go over the talk he had prepared to let Spike down easily.
Too bad that he couldn’t talk his way out of this; he had already caused enough with his irresponsible actions as it was, his mind gnawed in guilt at him. Xander almost tripped over his own feet in his weary efforts in sneaking peeks at Spike, but a strong hand held him up, gripping at his shoulder and preventing a painful encounter with the rough pavement.
They continued walking as if nothing happened.
The hand kept its hold.
Heart in his throat, Xander tried to ignore the thumb that started rubbing circles into his shoulder, causing the inside of his bones to soften. Like he needed for his body to become even weaker! But Xander didn’t voice his complaints. He didn’t want to seem ungrateful for the save, now did he. He also ignored how his eyes dropped half closed at the motions.
All too soon, his eyes snapped open when with his Xander-credited luck he skipped nimbly over a pothole, and it didn't even dislodge the stroking hand. A vision of him twisting his ankle and of Spike carrying him like a bride over his doorstep flashed before his eyes. He kept them wide open until he had to blink when he felt them dry up from the night air.
Xander was a demon magnet, wasn’t he? It was just his luck that Fate had decided to play with his ever-present odds. He wished that something bent on destruction would jump out from behind a bush and provide the much needed distraction.
~ There… that’s a pretty nice bush to hide behind preparation to pounce. Or out of that trashcan--- I’m not picky. I would take a midget demon! ~ What little courage Xander had was withering into nothing. Each step had his heart beating harder and harder; he was starting to think that every blood-sucking, tear-your-beating-heart-out baddie was away on vacation.
~ Just my luck! ~
Now the cool thumb moved from his shoulder and over to his neck. The small hairs stood out when the smooth flesh kneaded at his bones and down to the joint mid shoulder expanse.
A shiver later and Xander jumped with a full bodily shake away, blurting out the first thing that came to mind, “So vampires are like bisexual?”
Spike stopped to look at Xander. He raised his eyebrow and the cigarette bobbed in his mouth. “Vampires are sexual. Period.” He titled his head, enjoying the flush that filled the boy’s face palpably clear in the night’s moon illuminated darkness. Spike didn’t know what brought that question, and as an excellent horse rider if he said so himself, he was going to ride this gift to a gallop. “We exude sex.” He held the smoke with two fingers and blew via a light pout at the flame, eyes never leaving Xander’s, noticing how the human’s throat moved.
Xander gulped. He had never wished for anything more than to be able to swallow back that question. ~ Way to break out the jumbo worm can, Brainiac! ~ No, that was a lie. There was something he wished for more than that, for this whole debacle to be a figment of his sick imagination.
~ Wait. ~ Xander frowned. ~ Something’s missing, Batman. ~ He raked his brain, but it was really hard to concentrate with Spike talking roughly about sex like that. And was he rubbing at his stomach?!
“… vampires that survive the times are all sexual creatures, with distinctive uniqueness and perfection.” Spike bit his bottom lip in thought. “Only the pretty are turned for something great.”
Xander had to snort at that. Spike shrugged.
“That or they’re really strong, and yeah, freakishly ugly. Bloody fruit bat could throw me across the room and into another… and his rooms were in a fucking cave!”
At Xander’s confused look, Spike explained exasperated, as if he expected Xander to know everyone who ever smacked him around, “The Master.”
Xander nodded. “So, thinking he didn’t like you,” he said in mocking. Like there was anyone who really liked Spike.
Spike didn’t get that connection as he flicked his cigarette to the ground. Xander glared at him in disgust and ground the flame with his foot, picturing it to be something else. His foot crushed down even harder.
Spike was lost in memory lane it seemed. “He didn’t like anyone that came from Angelus’ blood. Though he did have a fancy for my Dru… but then again, Darla picked her as a seer and Heinrich liked his special ones.”
That made Xander look up from his stress management game. “Darla was special?”
“Darla was a whore.”
Xander blinked. Was he actually surprised at Spike’s crudeness? He felt disgusted at his own naivety. And here he was actually feeling guilt?
~ Oh, oh, there… almost there… it’s the… ~ And again Xander lost that fleeting thought when Spike chuckled. Xander glared daggers at the yapping mouth.
“Fact, mate, not putting her down, though I would. She was a whore when she was human and once turned, she radiated sexuality that thickened the air. You met her, right?”
Xander frowned. He met her alright; it was a split second but enough to form his impression of her. That was the beginning of it all, and what a start it was.
Spike took in the wave of clashing emotions for a second before continuing, “It was intensified, made her more special, she could get anyone to do whatever she wanted. Angelus, he was her boy, and she only needed to snap her tiny fingers and he’d fall to his knees like a good pet.”
Xander couldn’t miss the disgust that fell with each word Spike uttered. He couldn’t help but add fire to the flame, “You too?”
Instead of Xander getting the entertainment of angry Spike that he wanted, he stood there gaping as Spike exploded in amused laughter. He swore one or two tears slipped out of the vampire’s eyes.
“That’s a good one, Harris,” Spike said mid last snicker. “There’s a reason why she and I never got along. She never could get me. I could see right through her act. And she hated that.”
“So you two never…”
Xander made a mental note to give his mouth a stern talking to once this was all over. It should never run off freely without consulting his brain first.
“Fucked like animals? Bloody hell we did! Animosity brings more fuel to the romping!”
“Spoken like a real romantic, Spike.” Xander twisted his nose. He really didn’t need to hear that.
Spike scoffed in ridicule. “Wasn’t heading for romantic with this tale, Wimpander. It was just sex.” The eyebrow rose once more. “Really good sex.” He pursed his lips as his eyes rove up and down Xander’s body.
Xander felt naked. That would be his excuse for how his arms wrapped protectively over his body. He shifted his feet, eyes frantically searching the night.
~ C’mon! Give me a break here. ~
“You know, it’s a shame, Xander.”
Xander sucked in a breath. How did Spike get from way over there to speaking huskily in his ear? And how in the world could the puffs of his name sound so…
His rebellious mouth took control once more.
“Good sex is fruitless when it’s forgotten… why it’s infamy… so much that it should be rectified, don’t you think?”
Xander’s head nodded, because the tone expected such a response. Thankfully, his brain finally decided to join the rest of his bodily functions.
Xander frowned. That was supposed to come out more upset and a little less with the choked whisper. He squealed, batting at Spike’s roaming hand. He turned and glared.
“Stop it or I’m gonna cry rape!”
And if Xander thought that things couldn’t get any more fucked up then he should know by now not to give Fate anymore free passes.
Xander was completely taken aback at the look that fell on Spike’s face. The blue eyes turned so cold Xander almost hugged himself this time for another reason.
~ Ahhhh, so that’s where the self-disgust-slash-guilt came from? ~ Spike did a mental eureka. He clumped his jaws tighter in a way he knew made his cheek bones bounce and swerved his gaze away. Crossing his fingers, he hoped he exuded the desired affect.
Xander winced. His eyes bounced around searching for any kind of distraction, trying to ignore the ~ Oh, God ~ dare he say, vulnerable look that appeared on the face in front of him.
~ Great. Rape the guy, then convince yourself it never happened. Yeah, I don’t remember taking advantage of Spike. ~
He felt his hand lift from where it had lifelessly fallen to his side, and at the same time his mouth opened in an effort to say something. A signal from his mind of ‘how ARE you going to fix this?’ returned them to their earlier useless position. Maybe his mouth remaining closed was the better deal, this way he wouldn’t blurt out idiotic things like he tended to do all the time.
All he had to do was quickly put the pieces together. How could he fix something if he himself was lost? It was like putting together that puzzle Willow helped him finish, make the box, then work inside it.
So the big picture was…
~ Sex, what else? If I had sex with someone and then they forgot about it…. What the hell? Not someone… some GIRL, woman, hot babe with boobs and no male genitals. You say someone when you don’t want to be rude or narrow-minded. Well, heck, my head just narrows on the female of MY species. Hot blooded homo sapiens … and yeah, I know that word. I think. And not because it has homo in it either! ~
Spike returned his extra wide blue eyes to Xander when he noticed the boy's breaths start to quicken. He felt that if he concentrated enough he would hear the rusted cogs in Xander's mind move.
~ God, I feel like my head is gonna explode. ~ Xander rubbed his forehead.
~ Bet all of that added strain on his noggin is going on overload. ~ Spike snickered then cursed lowly when Xander’s narrow eyes caught his. He reverted as quickly as possible to his earlier position, but it was too late.
Xander pointed a finger at Spike as the last piece of the puzzle fell in.
“It was like nothing happened! You sneaky evil demented vampire somehow caught on my crazed Bronze boozed dream in my reaction the following night and thought you could pull one over the Xan-man!” Xander heaved deep breaths as he moved closer to tower over the vampire. “Well, I’m on to you, Luthor!”
Spike expected a punch or stake but it never happened. He watched confused at Xander’s retreating back as it quickly moved away.
“I can prove it,” grounded out by the boy was all Spike needed to follow him. Perhaps this wasn’t over just yet. And if the kid caught on, Spike had his vampire speed on his side and he could escape before Xander could get his revenge.
All too soon, Xander stormed into his apartment, through the living room and into the bedroom. Spike slowly stepped into the apartment and looked around. He could distinctly hear Xander struggling with something in his room.
Xander rushed into his bedroom and stopped, collecting his thoughts before hurrying into the bathroom. He picked up his toothpaste and toothbrush with each hand and rushed out into his bedroom. He froze for a second to look at his reflection in the mirror before his gaze moved to the bed. With renewed determination, he switched the toothbrush to his left hand with the paste and pulled at the bed covers. When his efforts proved waning in front of the resisting cloth he dropped the items that he held and pulled the bed sheet roughly.
Xander shut his eyes in a wince when the momentum sent two projectiles right into his mirror. A second later, laden with bedclothes he cracked his eyes and surveyed the damage. Thankfully, he didn’t imagine the non-existence of the sound of glass breaking. He draped the sheet on one arm and picked up the items, setting his face to his earlier anger once more as he exited the room.
Spike was looking bored standing in the middle of the living room and not trapped at his doorstep awaiting his arrival, as Xander had expected.
“How did you get in?” he asked before he raised his draped hand. “Never mind.” Xander groaned, picturing inviting the vampire over in his intoxication at the Bronze and the vampire refusing on the pretence that he had better things to do than to baby-sit a human who couldn’t even hold his drink.
~ Yes, that’s exactly how it happened. Even if I don’t remember it. ‘Cause that’s the only explanation. ~ Xander held up his baggage as proof.
Spike tilted his head at the way Xander directed the items at him. “Uh, no, thanks mate, I have my own,” he said in confusion.
Xander dropped his hands and what they held. He crossed his arms and shook his head as if in disappointment. “Na uh, no more making with the Oscar performances, Blood Breath. I’m on to you!” He pointed at the items littering the floor at his feet. “Look! Rumpled but clean sheets… sleep rumpled but no sex residue.”
Spike raised an amused eyebrow.
Xander nodded. “Yes, sir, I know the word.”
“CSI?” Spike snickered at Xander’s pout.
“No distractions!” Xander said with embellished authority. “Now. I remember the cap falling in the bathtub and looky here!” He picked up the object in question. “Cap on tube, the tube is not capless!” The boy grinned widely. “In conclusion no sex, or moi’s frantic haste in cleaning myself of icky vampire cooties.”
Spike’s face darkened. “Finished?”
Xander didn’t know why his heart jumped a beat but he continued in a flutter as he pointed at living room. “Clean apartment. No booze bottles on the table. Meaning no uber-mindless-drunkenness leading to newfound sexual discoveries that I just happened to remember nothing about?”
Spike blinked in fake astonishment. “So, young Sherlock Bones deduced what? It was all a figment of his exuberant, tightly sealed closet fantasies, that oh, right, I picked up on with my fundamental vampire telepathy and decided ‘let’s see how many shades of red homophobic Scrappy can create seeing as he fake buggered me and all’.” His eyes flashed bright yellow for a second, but it was all it took for Xander to take a small step back. “Is that what happened, Harris, eh?”
Xander’s mouth did a fine mirroring of a fish confined in a glass jar before he literally smacked his forehead. He then was wiggling his finger once more at Spike, this time with a fare amount of hysterical laughter.
“Oh, you’re good. Really good.”
Spike was taken by surprise when Xander pounced at him and dragged him to the kitchen. He stood by as the brunet opened a cupboard and pointed. “Full bottles!”
Xander turned around, crossed his arms and hoped that he was raising one eyebrow in a ‘take that, evil vampire’ fashion.
Spike regarded Xander with a collage of expressions that the human had trouble to tell which was which. It didn’t matter though, when all Xander was feeling was the sting from the sharp corner of the pantry meeting his instinctive jerk when Spike lunged at him.
All blood drained from the young human’s face as Spike pulled out one of the bottles. Xander had a moment of puzzlement before his eyes slammed shut.
Xander waited a few second to hear the sound of liquid splashing against his face, to feel his clothes begin to soak, when that didn’t happen he opened his eyes. The sight that was presented to him was mystifying to say the least. Spike was holding the glass container in the form of someone who had just swung it forward in order to splatter what it held. But nothing had come out. Xander watched as the disappointed gaze Spike was giving him left his face to look down as the bottle was tilted downwards. Again, nothing. He kept watching, urging the liquor to magically pour out.
Spike and Xander’s eyes rose and caught each other at the same time.
Xander could faintly hear Spike through the rush of air in his ears.
“The drunken, apparently forgettable romping happened when you dragged me to fulfill a fantasy of yours, in your tub.” The vampire didn’t stop even when the pounding of blood pumping intensified. “After you conveniently fell spent on my back, I did the hospitable thing: when someone buggers you to the wall, you wipe 'em off.”
Xander’s mouth moved but no sound came out.
Spike sniffed. “I wasn’t as ‘spent’ as you.” Xander’s face flamed. “So I tidied up the place, bathroom, living room, before I was tired enough to doze off.”
Xander’s wide eyes snapped from the vampire and looked beseechingly at the empty glass bottle in Spike’s hand.
~ Gods if ever… the ability to create wine from thin air would be used for the good of mankind! ~
Spike twisted his lips when it seemed that Xander got lost in his mind once more. “I washed them in the tap then replaced them. Here,” Spike stuck his finger as far as it could reach in the bottle and rubbed against the wall. He then with barely any resistance from Xander stuck his finger in the boy’s mouth, “Taste like booze to you?”
Spike bit back a shiver when a warm tongue brushed against his finger. He was on a roll here.
Xander shook his head in reply to Spike’s question, his eyes nearly falling out of his head.
With surprised reluctance, Spike pulled his finger out with a pop.
“Well, there you go then.” He placed the bottle on the dining table. “Got anything to say?”
Xander shook his head but at the same time pointed under the sink. “I recycle.”
Spike gave him a sneer. “I’ll remember that next time,” he spat with venom. With a hard turn that caused the leather duster to flap Xander in his legs, Spike was out, the door slamming in his wake.
Xander let out a gasp. He didn’t know when he stopped breathing or when his heart found its way into his throat. He honestly envisioned himself torn to shreds by a powerful vampire, chip or no chip. And he didn’t even see himself struggling in it either.
“Shit.” Xander swung his arm and then knocked the bottle to the kitchen floor. It broke with a thundering sound, causing him to bite his tongue. “Fuck.” It wasn’t hard enough to make it bleed, but Xander realized that he had been licking his lips, unconsciously trying to capture the faint unusual taste of nicotine and something else with a salty tang.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” was repeated concurrently with the sound of a head banging against a wooden cupboard.
Outside Xander’s apartment building, Spike leaned against the brick wall.
Bloody hell, that was close. He let out a sigh of relief. The deities of mischief must be on his side tonight. Luckily for Spike, Xander went to check the bathroom and bedroom first, so Spike had a chance to empty the bottles in the sink and replace them before Xander noticed.
He started walking to his crypt and felt a laugh bubble in his chest.
He didn’t know what was coming next, but one thing was for sure. He wouldn’t be bored enough to moon about the Slayer anymore.
And that was a good thing in his book. The End of Part FiveA/N: I am with Spike. I don’t know what’s to come. I have received many requests and will hopefully in time try to use them to the best of my efforts. I have used a couple here with pushing the rape thing, it might continue down that path for a while. I have a cute one to come, but it won’t work for the next chapter. So, if you know how Spike can torment poor gullible Xander, let me know. Devilish planning Spike is fun!
It's been a lifetime but it's here: Assess the Blame